The Seasons Project
by andibeth82
Summary: A take on the progression of Sawyer and Juliet's relationship - the seen and unseen moments throughout the series that led to their eventual endgame. Follows the general timeline of the series in real time from the very first few episodes of season 3 until the finale in season 6.
1. Season 3 - Part 1

**_A/N:_ I've had an overwhelming response to some of my fic posted here (seriously, thank you) and lots of requests for longer, multi-chapter fics. The comments inspired me to pull out something that has been in the works for over 2 years, since the series finale, and although I've taken the opportunity to work on it sporadically throughout random periods of time, I never was able to completely commit to finishing. This is my attempt (and challenge) to fulfill that commitment, both to myself and this story that has been sitting on my flash drive for far too long. And so...I hope you all enjoy.**

**Due to length, chapters will be broken up in parts by season (ie., Season 3 - Part 1, Season 3 - Part 2, etc.) A majority of this has already been written and needs to be revised/beta'd, so the good news is, most chapters will post in rather quick succession. But there may be a longer stretch of time as we get into later seasons, and I can't promise things will always be so timely. If you're interested in keeping up with this story, I'd suggest putting it on alert in case chapters start to slow down (this is not me begging for attention to my fic, I promise you. This is me saying I'm a graduate student who has no idea what life will throw at me at any given time in the next few months.)**

**(As a note, creative liberties were taken to make this story my own, even in moments that played out exactly as we saw. Some moments, including dialogue, are directly in line with the show's narrative, but with slight tweaks. Some moments were added in because they seemed implied, and I wanted to expand on their possibilities. But ultimately, the story follows the general timeline of the series, from the very first few episodes of season 3, right up until the finale in season 6.)**

* * *

"Ford. Austen. Shephard."

She doesn't bother to look up as she reads the names and when she finally meets his gaze, his expression is as blank as always. There's a beat of silence before he speaks. "Austen and Ford should be fine in the cages. But I want you with Shephard."

"I could've called that," Juliet answers evenly, crossing her arms, slightly surprised at how uncaring she's become about throwing bold answers back in his face. "And what exactly do you expect me to do with him? He's more stubborn than you are."

Ben smirks in response, and the grin that slides across his features causes her stomach to churn even as she steadies her poker face.

"I believe he'll break. And if not now, then eventually. I have my ways, Juliet."

She's so disgusted with the nature of the conversation that she can't even muster up an appropriate response. It was bad enough she had woken up from food poisoning to find out that they had captured at least four of the people living on the Island, and even though she was no stranger to who these people were, she still wasn't okay with playing the bad guy.

But Ben had promised to get help her get home. He had, for the first time in his life, promised that if she helped him with whatever he wanted from these people, she would get to leave. She would get to go home. Back to her sister, back to her nephew, away from this place where she would never amount to anything more than a trapped punching bag.

"Juliet."

She's halfway to the door as Ben's voice rings out, and she closes her eyes against his words.

"What?"

"I don't anticipate there to be any…issues, as your motives _and _rewards are clear. But should you think about changing your game in any of this…"

Juliet swallows, willing herself to stay calm and when she turns, her face is just as blank as his.

"There won't be. I assure you."

She somehow manages to make out of the house before the tears start to fall.

* * *

"Hey. You awake?"

Kate opens her eyes slowly, squinting into the darkness where Sawyer is hanging between the cage bars some distance away. She sighs. "What?"

Sawyer opens his mouth, then closes it. "Nothin'. Just checkin' to see if you're okay."

"I'm –"

Her words are cut off by the sound of a door opening and Sawyer turns in place as a tall blonde woman emerges from the behind the tree line. Faces meet, hard and steadfast, and he holds his gaze back at her.

"Well, you don't look like normal serial killer fare." He raises an eyebrow at her silence, and then smirks again.

"Got somethin' you wanna say, sweetheart?"

Juliet stares at his face, her gaze unmoving. Rouge. Con man. Tennessee. Slept with women and then used their vulnerability to steal from them. Everything she knows from his file flashes through her head, and she tries not to think about the fact that despite his clear sarcasm and anger, he's actually more on her level than he probably realizes.

"Nothing you want to hear, James. Trust me." She tosses a bottle of water in between the cracks of the cage and turns on her heel, leaving a scowling face behind her.

"Why'd she call you James?"

"Because…it's my name."

Juliet hears the conversation and something catches in her throat, but she doesn't turn around.

* * *

"You got a problem with me?" Sawyer leans against the door frame, his voice cutting through the quiet night and suddenly she regrets being nice enough to let him out of his cage so that he could sneak a quick shower.

"You got a problem with me?" Juliet returns the question coldly, and he glares in response.

"Well, yeah, Blondie, I do. Seein' as to how you're the one who locked us in these damn cages, tormentin' us with some stupid rock collectin'."

Juliet crosses her arms, knowing that she should be stronger than this. But she can't stop thinking of Ben and his promise and she suddenly doesn't want to do anything but go to bed and forget that she even exists as this person; this terrible person who everyone thinks is on the same level as her mastermind captor.

"I didn't do anything, James. Take your anger out on Ben, take it out on Tom, hell, take it out on Jack. But stop taking your anger out on me." She throws a towel at him forcefully. "I'll be outside when you're done."

The door slams and for a moment, Sawyer feels slightly bad for the harshness of his words. But then he remembers the bags over his head, the taser marks on his skin, and he wonders why he should even care about the blonde with the gun.

* * *

Juliet stands at the window, staring out over the unusually quiet barracks while fingers of her right hand brush absently over her lower back. She winces slightly. Jack's medication had been helpful, but it hadn't done much to ease the scar that now tainted her pride.

She realizes that she isn't really sure what made her do it. She knows that she doesn't care for Kate, although she also knows she can't just let someone die for the hell of it (she's not a murderer, she's not Ben and she's not Pickett. _She's not Pickett_.) But when she saw them on the beach, there was only one thought in her mind: to save them. Rather, to save him.

She had pulled the trigger without really thinking of the consequences. And now James was gone, probably back with his people, not bothering to care about what he left behind. He would never even know that he was saved by someone who thought that he was a little bit worth it.

She brings her face to the edge of the window but finds she can't cry anymore.


	2. Season 3 - Part 2

The flashlights in the tent illuminate their faces, making everyone look more on edge than normal. As usual, Sawyer's rough tone breaks the quiet.

"I'm tellin' you, Doc, not a good idea. I don't trust her."

"We're all in agreement here, Sawyer." Jack's voice is almost too calm, and it makes him want to strangle something.

"Yeah? And how in the hell did y'all come to an agreement? Cause last time I checked, she was taserin' me and killin' people left an' right. Tried to kill Claire and held a gun to your head while you operated on her boss."

"She also saved you at the expense of her own people," Jack countered. There's a note of exasperation in his voice and Sawyer glares, noticing that Kate's looking at him from the side with that annoying gaze that essentially screams out _why the hell are you making such a big deal about this?_ He avoids looking in her direction. He doesn't want to deal with answering, especially since he's sure she won't bother to back him up. Not when her boyfriend is the one calling the shots.

"We should trust Jack," Sayid says quietly. He's almost hidden in the shadows, as if he's trying to avoid the conversation as much as he can. "I believe she has told him things that make him understand she is not a bad person."

Sawyer grunts. "Yeah? So just cause she gave a confession, she's allowed a free pass to the Island Beach Community? Must've missed that memo, cause the rest of us are in the dark over here."

Jack shrugs and gets up, clearly done with the conversation. "Look, I can't tell you what she said. But you have to trust me." He starts to walk away and Sawyer jumps up, grabbing his arm. His face is hard.

"I'm tellin' you, Doc, I don't. She's one of 'em, and you know what they did to us. You're makin' the wrong decision lettin' her into this camp."

Jack stares at the man in front of him, nonplussed, and then wrenches his arm away before striding out of the tent. Sayid and Kate follow, with Kate giving him a glance that borders between sympathetic and annoyed. Sawyer stays behind, glaring in their wake, his mind fighting let go of the battle he's just lost.

* * *

It's approaching dark when Juliet gets back, and she wonders if these people ever sleep (there are too many eyes on her, and none of them feel particularly inviting.) Her stomach turns uneasily, because this is suddenly starting to mirror what happened when she first got to this island. When the eyes and the stares and praises wouldn't stop, practically forcing her into the arms of Harper Stanhope and her infamous therapy sessions.

She's managed to get a few people on her side for Ben's sake and she's managed to do a few good deeds for her own sake. But she still doesn't expect people to welcome her, and so when Jack and Kate and Sayid start calling people over for their pow-wow or meeting or whatever they call it, she wanders off towards the water for some hopeful moments of privacy. She's glad for the impending darkness, because it means that if she wants to cry, she can do so with no one really noticing.

She already hates that she's doing this and the last thing she needs is more questions being thrown at her.

He's standing by his tent, watching her struggle with her tarp and in that moment, he's glad that his personality has branded him as the Island Asshole. _Wouldn't have wanted to help anyway._

"What's your problem?" Kate has come out of nowhere, as usual, and is suddenly standing next to him.

"I don't got one," he growls, still staring straight ahead. Kate groans.

"Bullshit, Sawyer. You're looking at her like she's the second coming of Ethan."

He sighs and finally averts his eyes, meeting her gaze. "So what?"

Kate half-laughs. "So, Sawyer. She's not Ethan. She's just trying to fit in. She doesn't want to be with her people…she saved us and she obviously let Jack trust her for a reason."

"Yeah, to get information that she can bring back to her boss so they can kill more of us when we're not lookin' an' lock us back up in those damn cages."

"You're being ridiculous. She just wants to be accepted."

He glowers in response. "That what she told you after she knocked you out an' handcuffed you in the jungle?"

Kate falls silent, staring out across the beach and Sawyer chuckles. "Yeah, I know about that. And I don't care what anyone else says, she's got some sort of look to her that I don't like. I ain't playing martyr every five days when someone else gets in trouble, Jack can take care of that himself if he wants to."

Kate rolls her eyes walks away. The next thing he knows, she's over by Juliet, who's already being helped by Hurley – the only other person in the camp who seems to be giving her the time of day.

Sawyer stays where he is and tries not to pay attention.

* * *

She approaches him knowing that she should feel more worried, but to be honest, she doesn't really care at this point what he can say or do to her.

"What the hell do you want?" He looks up from his book, shielding his eyes from the sun. Her blonde hair is windblown and messy, whipping across her face like a thick veil.

"I need a brush," Juliet says simply, crossing her arms. Sawyer smirks in response.

"And I suppose you think I'm just gonna_ give_ you one."

Juliet regards him with a look, then smiles. "No, James." Her voice drops quietly. "I don't think you're gonna give me one. I think you're going to make me go tell Jack. Or Kate. Or Hurley. And they'll come to you and do my dirty work, and when I tell them why, they're going to make you feel bad for being an ass for no reason."

He stares at her, wondering what the hell gives her the right to talk to him like that, like she knows anything about what he will or won't do. He chuckles, inclining his head, dropping his book to the sand, reaching underneath his tarp to pull out a small purple brush with white polka dots on the underside.

"One hairbrush comin' right up. Hope ya don't mind the baby motif."

She takes it, fingers brushing his slightly, and shrugs. "I'll manage. Thanks, James." Her eyes divert downwards for a few seconds before she looks up again. "By the way, nice choice – read Ayn Rand in college. One of my favorites."

She turns to go and he watches her, his eyes hard, and attempts to forget the conversation that just took place.

Juliet sits by the water, sifting sand through her fingers. Her mind runs through thoughts of Ben and her people back at the barracks, Goodwin and her sister, and the nephew she'll never meet. She's so engrossed in her thoughts that she doesn't hear Jack come up beside her.

* * *

"Looks like you're on your way to fitting in," he says, taking a seat next to her. She smiles tightly, but doesn't turn her gaze away from the shoreline.

"Is that what they're calling it these days?"

Jack sighs."I know certain…people…have made it hard. I don't blame you –"

"I don't care what people think," Juliet interrupts quietly and firmly. "I just want them to stop staring. I've had enough people staring at me since I got to this place three years ago." She pauses. "I know I'm not a saint, Jack. But neither is anyone else in your camp, including you. And I'm not saying you're not allowed to have trust issues after what my people did to you, but don't make it seem like I'm the only one who's ever done something wrong in my life."

Juliet gets up abruptly and marches off, but not before Jack gets a glimpse of the pain that seems impossible to hide.


	3. Season 3 - Part 3

"Just when the hell were you gonna let us in on the fact that your bug-eyed friend was usin' you?"

Juliet turns, meeting Sawyer's face, and shrugs. "I don't know. Maybe never. Maybe not until people stopped treating me like I was a diseased person."

Sawyer sighs. "Well, you don't gotta give me attitude. Just figured I deserved the truth."

"Do you?" She arches an eyebrow and he glares in response.

"Whatever."

They're standing in the sand, listening to the waves crash almost soundlessly on the beach a few yards away while the rest of the camp continues to mill around the fire. When her voice cuts through the silence, it's softer than he expects.

"Can I ask you something, James?"

He flinches at the sound of his rarely used given name, but refuses to let it show. "What, is there somethin' you don't already know?" Juliet regards him evenly.

"I'm just wondering if you're being an asshole to me because I know too much about your past, or because you really don't trust me."

For the first time in his life, Sawyer has no response and before he can think of a way to respond, she's heading back towards the fire, her blonde hair illuminated by the sharp moonlight.

* * *

Juliet's trying to scrub a stain out of her tank top, occasionally glancing up to keep watch on activity around the camp. She isn't looking at anything in particular, but during one glance, she notices Kate emerging rather stealthily from Sawyer's tent. Her eyes narrow, though she's not sure why. Maybe it's because she's felt a weird tension with the other girl since she met her, and it's a feeling that she can't seem to shake.

"Need some help?" And suddenly, as if she had been sending telegraphic messages out into the universe, Kate is next to her. She looks a little unsettled and Juliet half wonders if she's seen her staring and has come over to snuff out competition for the con shrugs.

"I got it…thanks, though. I appreciate the offer." She flashes a small smile and continues scrubbing. Kate nods, turning to leave, and Juliet speaks before she knows what she's doing.

"Is that how you always are with him?"

Kate stops, but doesn't turn around.

"What do you mean?" Her voice takes on an edge, but Juliet finds herself unfazed. She simply nods in the direction of the tent.

"With Sawyer, I mean. You just go in there whenever and give him what he wants and it takes away your pain for a bit?"

Kate suddenly rounds on her, eyes dark. "Were you spying on me?"

Juliet laughs in spite of herself. "I was washing my shirt and saw you coming out of his tent. I saw you in the cages, Kate. Seeing you and him together, well, it's not exactly rocket science." She pauses. "Is this because of me and Jack?"

Kate steps up until she's right in front of Juliet's face. "It has NOTHING to do with you and Jack," she says almost angrily. "And you should stay out of what's none of your business. At least Sawyer learned to do that."

Juliet watches Kate walk away and nonchalantly goes back to washing her shirt, a slightly bemused smile sliding over her face.

* * *

He's pissed at Jack. Really pissed. A suicide mission without guns? Since when did Jack even care about whether he lived or died? He should've been glad that Sawyer wanted to leave, hell, it was one less person he would have to worry about saving.

"I know where there are some guns. There's a hidden cache a couple of miles from here. I can take us back to the beach on a route past it."

_Oh, hell._

It's Juliet's voice. Which just fucking figures, since he can't exactly tell her not to come with him and he can't leave without guns, and she has guns, and he's trapped unless he wants to make this trek to the goddamn radio tower. So he forces himself to say yes, because at least it means he gets to spend time with someone who won't be constantly up his ass.

Besides, he's kind of realizing he likes her a little bit, enough to know he would care if she was in trouble or something.

* * *

They walk through the jungle together, the silence between them growing more and more awkward with each step.

He's turned down Kate – that's what surprises her most of all. But maybe she should be more surprised that he actually seemed like he wouldn't mind her company. He probably distrusted her more than anyone in the camp, he never wanted to look twice at her, and now he wants to play Nostradamus to everyone? With _her_? It was true that she had the upper hand, but she also knows he could've very well chosen differently.

She doesn't understand it, but she has to admit that she likes his company. And so she quickly gets over her surprise when he doesn't make a big deal about going back to get the guns with her.

Juliet wonders how he'll react when she tells him there aren't any guns.

* * *

It's not the first time, or even second time that he's killed a man - those honors go to Frank Duckett and Anthony Cooper. Still, Sawyer stares at Tom Friendly's unmoving body realizing he feels more than a little sick.

Not that he'd ever admit it.

He notices Juliet staring at him a few yards away, and meets her gaze. It's easy to do; she doesn't give him those overly annoying looks like Kate does.

"You okay?" Her voice actually sounds concerned, and he's so surprised by that fact he almost forgets to nod.

"Fine. Sorry I had to kill your friend." He feels like it's the least he can offer, even if he's not really sorry. Juliet only shrugs in response.

"Don't be. He was always nice to me…but in the end, he deserved it. He took the kid."

She walks away, and Sawyer feels a weird pit in his stomach. He wonders why he cares that she saw him kill someone, because it ain't like she hadn't already read about his past in her files.

He wonders why he cares at all.


	4. Season 4 - Part 1

"Ever dug a grave before?" Juliet's question catches him off guard and Sawyer shakes his head, taking another sip of beer. She knows she should find it infuriating that he's standing around lazing off while she pushes a shovel into the ground, but it's easier just to humor him given the situation.

"Nope. You?"

She smiles slightly. "I, uh…I buried my pet goldfish in our back yard when I was ten, does that count?"

A hint of a grin shadows his face. "Better than nothin'."

She sticks the shovel in the sand and leans back, wiping her hands. He walks over and joins her, tossing his now empty can to the side of the trees.

"Guess that about does it for the son of a bitch."

Juliet looks up at his face, down at the mounded grave, and then back up again.

"Yeah. I guess it does."

* * *

The first thing she notices is how weird it feels not to have his company and she's not even sure why she's thinking that. She wasn't attracted to him (not in that way, not at all.) She was just protecting him the way she would have protected anyone out of self-defense. And she was sure had done the same for her.

_Had he?_

The thought bounces around in her mind and she smiles a bit thinking of their conversation, of the way he so seamlessly bantered with her while they dug poor Tom's grave. It had been a long time since she felt so at ease with someone.

Still. _Still._

She takes another step forward. His history precedes him, and she knows that he wouldn't be good for her. He cared too much about Kate, and despite what she could read on his face, he always would.

Juliet's a doctor, she attracts the guys who are respected and smart and full of themselves. She doesn't attract the ones that are saavy or the ones that match her true spirit.

It's just truth that guys like Sawyer didn't look at girls like Juliet.

* * *

He's walking with Hurley who's trying to talk to him, maybe to make nice about the whole incident back at the beach. He feels bad for ignoring the guy, especially in the wake of Charlie's death, but as he tromps through the jungle he finds that his mind isn't really on his friends. It's on her.

He feels almost embarrassed at the realization of that fact, and wonders why he's even thinking about it. True, she made him smile and he had to admit she was sharp even without a gun in her hand. Still, he found her annoying most of the time, especially when she used _that _voice, the one that for some reason always made him feel like he needed to stop and pay attention.

Sawyer kicks a branch out of his path. He's sure she's not even giving him a second thought right now, and why would she? She had the doc, and that's all anyone seemed to want these days. Jack and his leadership, respected because he could sew up a damn person's back where someone else couldn't.

Besides. He's been around long enough to know that girls like Juliet don't look at guys like him. Not in a million years. He's better off with someone equally damaged, someone who knows what a bad person he is.

Someone like Kate.

* * *

It doesn't take much thought, but Juliet's made up her mind by the time he catches up to her.

"Hey." Sawyer grabs her arm, pulling her away from the group and she looks at him in surprise, eyes traveling down to where his fingers grip her forearm.

"Can I help you, James?"

He sighs, his voice lowering to a growl. "Look, I'm headin' to the barracks. Locke's comin' too, probably safer there than the beach. You goin'?"

She's silent for a moment, and then abruptly shakes her head in response. He looks exasperated.

"Well, why the hell not?"

"Because I don't need to go to back there." Her voice is quiet and firm as she wrenches her arm out of his hold. "I'm going to stay at the beach. With Jack." She adds the last part with a sense of finality and turns abruptly, leaving Sawyer stationary for a moment before he quickens his pace, catching up beside her.

"Look. I didn't mean to force you, okay? I just mean that maybe it would help havin' a doc there. Jack's already at the beach, an' –"

Juliet whirls around, a hard look sliding over her face. "I don't want to go back to the barracks, James. And I'm sure you can get along just fine without me."

As she turns and rejoins the group, he tries not to think about why he even cares that she doesn't want to come with him.

* * *

He spends the first few days alone, enjoying somewhat of a solitary life and attempting to be sociable while reading whatever he can get his hands on. Somewhere, Locke is playing leader or God (he's not sure which one) and Sawyer thinks maybe he should care more, but realizes he's finding it hard to care about anything.

(His dreams of killing Cooper are now mingled with memories of killing Tom, and sometimes he has a hard time telling the two apart.)

Why hadn't he come back to the beach? True, given the opportunity, the idea of living in an actual house seemed ten times more appealing than sleeping in a tent. And Locke might be on some sort of crazy-like God bender, saddled with his fair share of insanity, but at the moment he trusted the guy a lot more than he trusted Jack.

_And Kate._

Sawyer puts down his book and rubs a hand over his eyes, suddenly feeling tired of it all.

* * *

The trees part when she's not looking, the water glistening in the distance with stretches of sand trickling into the dirt ground of the jungle and Juliet feels her stomach dropping with every step. Being back at the beach feels odd and comforting all at the same time, familiar enough for her to feel at ease seeing the makeshift kitchen of DHARMA goods, the tents and the mess of open suitcases and Claire's empty cradle.

And unfamiliar. Juliet pauses as she passes Sawyer's tent, messy with clothes and books and magazines, tries to not let her mind dwell on the fact that it's otherwise unoccupied and pushes her feet forward, towards the water. Sneaking a glance back at the tree line, she suddenly finds herself wishing she was back at the barracks, back in her small house with the drawers full of books and the kitchen cabinets that she knew like the back of her hand. Three years of a home, the closest thing she knew to the word.

Except the barracks were never her home, not really, not any more than the beach was. _I don't belong at the barracks_, she finds herself thinking as a second thought passes through her mind almost in simultaneously. _I don't belong at the beach, either_.

And when she realizes her next thought, the truth hits her with a force that almost causes her to her laugh out of irony.

_I don't belong anywhere. _


End file.
